We're The Perfect Two: Broken Home, Broken Hearts
by Myra109
Summary: Mark and Jessica Baker are siblings that are in love. They're relationship is going smoothly until their family moves to the city, and as their family begins to fall apart, so do they. Can Mark and Jessica hold themselves together while the world crumbles around them? Or will they let the trials of life pull them apart? AU, rated T for incest. Mark/Jessica
1. When Our Lives Change

_Godzilla183 asked me to write a story about Mark/Jessica from Cheaper By The Dozen, so here's the first chapter!_

 _This chapter is told from Jessica's perspective._

 ** _Disclaimer: I own nothing._**

 ** _WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: INCEST_**

* * *

Two has always been our number. It's the number of kids we want to have (whether by adoption or surrogate since there's a risk of disabilities and deformities if we have them like most people have their children). It's the number of kisses we share before going to bed in our separate rooms since our parents won't allow us to share one (we're not bitter about it. It's the rule for every kid when they bring home a boyfriend or girlfriend, so even though we live under the same roof, we are no exception). Two symbolizes the two of us: our two hands interlocked, two pairs of lips pressed delicately together, two pairs of eyes meeting with gazes filled with happiness and love.

Only one thing is not represented by the number two. The day we fell in love, our two hearts became one.

Our mother, Kate Baker, and our father, Tom Baker, had our oldest sibling, Nora, when Mom was twenty-two. Our brother Charlie and sister Lorraine followed, and after that, our parents quit their jobs in the big city and moved to the country, where our father found a small coaching job and our mother became a stay at home mom.

Shortly after that, our mother gave birth to Henry, Sarah, Jake, and Mark within four consecutive years. My parents originally only wanted eight kids, but during the fourth pregnancy, they skipped the number eight when they had their first set of twins, me and my sister, Kim.

My younger brother, Mike, was apparently the result of a drunken night, and identical twins Kyle and Nigel were total accidents (despite their birth not being planned, they're still loved just as much as the rest of us. Our parents love all of us equally. Don't forget that. My own family and the readers will find that very important later on) after my father got an operation to make sure Mom and him wouldn't have anymore kids but forgot that it would take three weeks for the operation to become effective.

That was how my parents wound up with twelve kids, but while this story will be shared with my parents and siblings, the main focus of the story is on my brother and myself.

On my seventh birthday, Mark and I kissed for the first time.

I know what some of you are thinking: you two are related! That's disgusting! Freaks! Abominations! Just plain wrong! Save your breath. We've heard it all before, but Mark and I never cared about what other people thought. We were the perfect two. We never needed other people's approval.

Our family accepted us in a heartbeat. Our parents knew what true love felt like, and as long as we found it, they didn't care who we fall in love with. Mark and I belonged together, and our family wanted us to be happy. As long as we were happy, they didn't care that Mark and I were siblings.

Despite Nora having accepted us, her boyfriend Hank was disgusted by our relationship and spat at us and insulted us and pushed us around when Nora wasn't looking. That's why all of our other siblings hate him; they'd seen how he treats us, and they treat him like he treated Mark and myself after discovering we were brother and sister and were in a romantic relationship.

That's our background story, but our true story, where it really gets interesting, begins one chaotic morning, not unlike any other. Or so we thought…

* * *

"Jessica?" Mark asked as he appeared in my doorway. "Have you seen Beans?"

Beans was Mark's frog. While my siblings, myself included, all wanted a dog as a pet (and we eventually got a dog right before Kyle and Nigel were born), Mark was always different than the rest of us, which wasn't a bad thing. Wanting a pet frog instead of a dog was just one of the things that made him different.

I didn't mind Mark being different, although the others sometimes teased him about it. The things that made Mark different were what made me fall in love with him. Who wants someone that fits in, anyway? Mark stood out, and he made me want to stand out. That's why I fell in love with him (I don't know when. Until Mark and I kissed, I had no idea I loved him that way, and Mark hadn't known about his own feelings either. The kiss had just felt… right).

"No, but I can help you look," I offered, checking the time on my alarm clock as I pulled back my long red hair. "It's almost time for breakfast anyway."

Mark and I wandered around the house with a net in search of the frog Mark had named Beans. I hadn't liked the frogs (there used to be two, but the older one had passed away a few months ago) when Mark first received them as a birthday present, but I'd grown fond of Beans as time passed. I don't think Beans liked me much either at first, but now, he would sit on my shoulder, in the palm of my hand, or (for some odd reason Mark and I can't seem to figure out) on top of my head without hesitation.

"Hi!" I chirped as I stepped into the chaotic, crowded kitchen. "Has anyone seen Beans?"

A chorus of _nos_ rang out as people shook their heads while continuing the lunch and breakfast train; it's where all the kids line up to pack lunches and make breakfast as quickly as possible. Right now, they were working on making toast.

"Sarah, your suspension for excessive force in lacrosse has been lifted. You're going today," Mom stated, much to Sarah's excitement, as she began packing sandwiches into lunch boxes. "Henry, I cleaned your clarinet. Please do not play it with food in your mouth again." Her tone, while patient, bordered on pleading.

"Kim," she added, surprising everyone since Kim rarely got called out unless she had some kind of doctor's appointment that day, "your teacher called and asked you to please stop correcting her in front of the class," Mom finished as we all nodded, knowing that correcting the teacher was something Kim would constantly do. She was far from a girl with a know-it-all attitude, but she was incredibly intelligent. The only reason she hadn't skipped any grades was because our parents feared her social skills would suffer if she wasn't around kids her own age (kids outside of the family, I mean).

"Nigel, Kyle, you have a dentist appointment today, so you're going to work with Dad," Mom announced, and the twins cheered in excitement as they pretended to wrestle with Dad.

The family was sitting down to breakfast while Mark and I continued to search for Beans.

"Mark," I whispered before pointing up, and Mark followed my gaze to see his pet frog sitting on top of the chandelier hanging above the table.

"Nobody make any sudden moves," I murmured, and they all followed my gaze to the chandelier as Mark raised the net and slowly inched it towards Beans.

"Mark, no-" Dad began, and that was when all heck broke loose.

Beans jumped from the chandelier and into the pot of eggs on the table, splashing everyone with scrambled eggs; the frog leaped across the table, knocking over drinks and splattering food everywhere before he landed on the counter.

Dad slowly stood and grabbed the net, starting towards the frog, but he slipped on some jam and fell on his back with a groan. Dad hopped back onto his feet and captured the frog (after Beans made even more of a mess) before slowly handing the net to Mark.

"Put Beans back in his cage now," Dad ordered.

"He doesn't live in a cage, Dad," I corrected. "He lives in a tank."

"You're starting to sound like Kim," Sarah commented as Mark turned and broke everything on a nearby shelf with the stick the net was connected to.

"Is everything broken?" Mom squeaked, clenching her eyes shut.

No one had the heart to reply.

"Nice going, Fed Ex," Sarah muttered.

Fed Ex? I thought in confusion. Klutz, I expected. What did Fed Ex mean?

I kissed Mark on the cheek and whispered, "It's okay. Let's go upstairs. I'll help you with Beans."

* * *

"Why did Sarah call you Fed Ex?" I questioned as Mark and I exited the house and grabbed our bikes to head to school.

Mark shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

"It upset you," I pointed out. "So it does matter."

"Jessica-"

"Mark," I stated, sternly.

Mark sighed. "The others sometimes say… the Fed Ex guy dropped me off because I don't fit in with this family."

By now, we were a good distance away from the house, and I dropped my bike to the ground with a clatter.

"They what?" I demanded.

"Jessica, don't-" he tried, but I was already stomping towards our siblings, who were a little bit ahead of us.

"Jessica!" he begged, grabbing my wrist, but when I was angry, I turned into Wonder Woman, so I just wound up dragging him across the dirt as I stormed up to Sarah, knowing she had probably started the cruel nickname.

"Sarah Baker," I snarled.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"And why are you on the ground, Fed Ex?" Henry inquired.

"Stop calling him that," I ordered. "That is a cruel nickname, and you all know it."

That was when it dawned on them why I was so angry. I was very protective of my boyfriend, and they all knew it. They'd made a huge mistake teasing/bullying Mark like that. Mark was already insecure about being different from everyone else in this family, not that he had any reason to be, and they were only making it worse by pointing out his flaws.

"If I hear any of you call Mark Fed Ex again, I'll see to it that you regret ever opening your mouth. Am I understood?" I whispered in a dangerously quiet voice.

They nodded.

"Good," I replied before heading back to where Mark and I had left our bikes.

Mark shrugged as he looked at his slightly terrified siblings. "I tried to stop her," he promised before chasing after me.

* * *

The minute Dad walked in the door, we all knew something was up.

Dad raced down the steps into the basement, dragging Mom with him, and we heard him turn on the washer, so that the rumbling sound would likely prevent us from eavesdropping.

Using a system we'd created shortly after Dad starting using the washer to prevent us from eavesdropping, my siblings and I held onto a rope and lowered Mike by his ankles down the laundry shoot, so he could hear.

Several minutes passed until Mike tugged on the rope, and we pulled him back up.

"We're gonna move!" he shouted, and in our shock, we dropped him right back down the laundry shoot. Luckily, Mike had a thick skull, or he surely would've sustained a concussion from that fall.

But we had more pressing issues. Moving? But Midland was our home. Sure, Mark and I were bullied here, but it was still our home, always had been.

"Guys," I said, nervously. "What are we going to do?"

* * *

 _All reviews are fantastic; constructive criticism is appreciated; and all flames will be ignored and reported if necessary. Thanks for reading!_


	2. When The Beginning Of The End Arrives

_Hello! Mainly Jessica's point of view again, except for two sections._

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

"All right, can I get big smiles?" Dad requested.

We were sitting on the steps leading off of our porch to take our Christmas photo (yes, our family does take our Christmas photo in May. Something about a discount at the printers), dressed in red, white, and green, but our depressed expressions didn't match our cheerful clothes.

Jake walked onto the porch, dressed in all black, and sat beside Henry in the back row.

"Jake, do you need to wear black?" Mom sighed.

"It's fitting," Lorraine muttered. "Jesus, like, had his funeral on Christmas."

"He died on Easter, airhead," Henry exclaimed.

"He was resurrected on Easter, moron!" Kim yelled before a fight broke out.

"I find it kind of ironic that they're arguing and insulting each other while talking about Jesus, who was all about kindness and forgiveness and peace," Mark mumbled, and I nodded.

"Kids, stop it!" Dad shouted. "What is going on?"

" _What's going on_ is you making us move," Charlie snapped.

Dad sighed. "Let's get through this picture, and we'll talk about it inside."

* * *

"Nora, you're on speaker," Dad was saying as he put his oldest daughter on speaker phone after our family had gotten settled in the living room.

"Hello, everybody!" our eldest sister chirped. "I heard you guys are thinking of moving up here."

"Yeah. You got room in that apartment for your big old family?" Dad asked with a laugh.

"Just big enough for two, Dad," she responded.

"We don't want to move!" Henry complained.

"Beans's mother is buried here. I'm not splitting them up!" Mark exclaimed. "They're family!"

"We can build a fancy new memorial to Pork in our backyard," Tom suggested.

Lorraine scoffed. "Like we could afford that."

"Actually, we can," Tom corrected her. "I'll be making enough money to do that, get you out of hand-me- downs-"

Lorraine glanced up, her attention effectively captured.

"-get Jake those new skates, and that new car we've been saving for."

"But I have friends here!" Sarah yelled, ever the passionate one.

"I don't want to move!" one of the twins shouted, and the rest of the kids joined in on the complaining.

Tom sighed before grabbing the bullhorn he always kept close at hand and spoke into it: "Quiet."

We quieted down, sinking into a collective angry sulk.

"I know you're all scared," Tom said, trying to show his kids that he did understand and that he wasn't trying to be the villain here, although he had a feeling they refused to believe that, even for a second. "Moving is a big deal, and we're very comfortable here. That's why I've turned down several coaching jobs throughout the years. But this is a job I've wanted since we left Chicago. In fact, it's more than a job to me. This is my team, my colors… this is the Stallions. And they're finally calling my number, and I want you to take this risk with me, and I promise that we will be a happier and a stronger family."

"You promise?" Mark murmured.

"I promise," Dad assured him.

"I would feel happier and stronger if we voted on it," Sarah stated, still rather angry, even after her father's speech and his promise.

"Yeah, we vote on everything!" one of the other kids agreed, and there were sounds of agreement throughout the room.

"All right, we'll vote on it," Tom reluctantly agreed, "but in the end, your mother and I are going to do what is best for the family."

"What's the point in even voting?" I muttered.

"I'm out!" Sarah grumbled, and we followed her as she stormed out of the living room, and the parents left as well, disappointed that the kids were still reluctant to move.

"Hello? I'm still here," Nora said over the phone before simply hanging up.

* * *

"Do you want to move?" Mark whispered.

Mark and I were laying side by side on my bed; Kim was in Sarah's room, and we could hear them both ranting and raving about moving all the way down the hall, but the important thing was that we had a room to ourselves to discuss these important matters.

I shrugged. "Not really, but I guess it doesn't really matter. I mean, whether we're here or there, we'll still have each other, won't we? And that's what really matters."

Mark nodded. "It's not like we have many friends here. All the kids at school hate us for dating our sibling. Any friends we did have left us when they discovered we were dating, and the ones that stayed were eventually chased off by all the bullying."

I nodded. "You know… in the city, we can start new. We don't have to tell anyone about us. No more glares in the hallway. No more kids moving away from us if we get within three feet of them. We could start anew. No judgment. No bullies. No prejudice. It'd be just like it was before the kids at school found out when that girl saw us kissing and told everyone. We'd have friends. We can be together without people throwing rocks through our window or kids cornering us on the streets and beating us up. We could be happy and safe."

Mark and I looked at each other, our hands intertwined between us, and we came to a silent agreement.

I picked up a scrap of paper to write my vote on and watched as Mark did the same. We both scribbled the word _Yes._

* * *

 _A few hours later (Charlie's room, third person point of view)_

It was the middle of the night, and Charlie had called a sibling meeting, but when the kids arrived in his room, they found that everyone had arrived except for Jessica and Mark.

"I'll go get them," Sarah offered, but Charlie stopped her.

"Don't," Charlie told her. "I didn't call them here because this meeting is about them… and moving."

"Don't remind me," Henry muttered.

"Guys," Charlie said. "We need to stop thinking about ourselves and start thinking about Jessica and Mark. I don't want to move. Hardly any of us do. But instead of listening to my anger, I started to listen to the big brother side of me and did some thinking.

"If we move, we lose some friends. Let's face it: we will lose touch with some of our friends if we move, but we can always make new ones. Jessica and Mark, though… we all know how bad the bullying has gotten since word got out about their relationship. The bullying has gone from insults called out in the hallway and horrible things spray painted on their lockers to people jumping them and beating them up. And I don't even have to remind you of the dead rat Jessica found in her backpack with a note telling her to die or the rock that was thrown through Mark's window."

The siblings exchanged glances, flashing back on all the times Jessica and Mark came home with bruises or the times their parents talked to the school about the bullying and the school did nothing. They could still hear Jessica's scream as she pulled the dead rat out of her backpack while she was doing homework at the kitchen table. They remembered the shattering sound from Mark's room late one night and racing into his bedroom to find Mark lying on his bed with broken glass from the window surrounding his scraped and cut body. A rock with the word _Freak_ written on it in black marker was lying less than five inches from his bed, having missed him by less than a foot.

"And these are only the times we know about. How many things do you think Mark and Jessica haven't told us about?" Charlie asked.

No one replied.

"Exactly," Charlie said. "Maybe moving is the best decision for us. Jessica and Mark will be safe. If we stay here, we risk losing our brother and sister, and I wouldn't be surprised if we had to move sooner or later to escape the bullying Mark and Jessica have to go through. We are their siblings, their family. I know we don't want to move, but we need to keep them safe."

Charlie held out his hand. "Who's with me?" he asked.

Eight hands stacked on top of his.

* * *

 _(Tom and Kate's room, third person point of view)_

Tom and Kate glanced up as nine of their kids streamed through the doorway and into their room.

"Shouldn't you kids be in bed?" Tom asked.

The kids exchanged glances before Sarah replied:

"We want to move," she told them.

Tom's eyes widened. "All of you?"

The kids nodded.

Tom laughed in relief. "That's great, but may I ask… why the sudden change of heart?"

Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "Jessica and Mark. The bullying is getting worse and much more violent. We need to keep them safe."

Kate smiled. "That's very selfless of you. Your father and I are so proud."

"Yeah, well… the last thing we need is Mark finding another voodoo doll in his locker with a death threat attached," Mike pointed out.

"What?" his siblings and parents squawked.

"Oh," Mike muttered. "You guys didn't know about that?"

Tom glanced from his kids to his wife. "Maybe we should move a little sooner than planned," he told his wife.

Kate nodded. "Definitely, but we're not risking you kids going to school until we move if it's come to death threats. You can call your friends and invite them over to say goodbye."

"Mommy, Daddy?" Nigel murmured. "Why are people being so mean to Mark and Jessica?"

Tom sighed. "I don't know, Nigel. I really don't know."

* * *

Dad tugged on Gunner's leash, urging the dog to the car, while the movers packed the last of the boxes into the moving truck.

Everyone was trying to be strong for Mark and my sake. Even Kyle and Nigel were swallowing the urge to throw a temper tantrum about moving, and all of the kids tried not to express their obvious dislike of this abrupt change. Mark and I could sense the tension in the air and we knew that no one was happy with this change; we also knew that our siblings were only agreeing to move to help us, and we were happy that our brothers and sisters would sacrifice their life here in Midland to keep Mark and I safe. We felt bad and happy at the same time, and a part of me would miss Midland, but I certainly wouldn't miss dead rats in my backpack or rocks through Mark's window or Kim glued to my side like a small but vicious body guard. I love my twin, but there's a difference between hanging out with my sister and her acting as a personal body guard by my side at all times.

Dad finally got Gunner into the car with help from Mom and Charlie, and we were off. Mark and I sat side by side in the car, sleeping on each other's shoulders, reading books together, and simply holding hands while staring blankly out the window on the long, boring car ride.

Hours later, we finally reached the city, and Dad stopped at a stop sign beside a vehicle with two boys around Mark's age in the back seat. They automatically began glaring, as most people did. In Midland, it was because everyone knew Mark and I were dating. Everywhere else, including here, it was because we were a huge family from the country and were different from almost everyone else.

They seemed to be glaring particularly at Mark, and I stared back with angry eyes as fiery as my ginger hair. The boys broke the stare first, but that was only to shift their gaze back to Mark and shake their heads, some kind of silent message or warning, and I knew that while the city would be better bullying wise, the bullying certainly wouldn't disappear. We would just be bullied for another reason, although the reason was just as stupid. We were different. And apparently, the people in this city didn't like different.

We continued driving until we pulled up in front of a huge, old fashioned house with pristine white paint, and even though I was nervous about the city, I couldn't help but be impressed.

"What do you think?" Dad asked.

"I liked our old house better," Sarah sulked, crossing her arms over her chest, but I knew she was in awe over our new home.

"Just give it some time," Dad told her. "And guess what? The twins share, but everyone else gets their own room, so… go kill each other for the best one!"

"Mark, Jessica, you know the rules! Separate bedrooms!" Mom called, and we shouted our understanding over our shoulders before sprinting through the door and racing up the stairs to the second floor.

Kim and I immediately claimed a room and tossed our backpacks on the beds to make it official. While Kim began to unpack her bag immediately, I exited the room and began to search for Mark's; don't tell anyone, but we sneak into each other's rooms almost every night (and no, we don't do anything sexual or in any way inappropriate. We just love each other's company). The night the rock flew through Mark's window was one of the few nights we didn't sneak into each other's rooms, and part of me wishes I was there to shield Mark from the glass. Alone in his bed the glass had rained down on Mark, and the memory of the long but thankfully narrow cut on Mark's forehead, running over his eyebrow and missing his eye by less than a millimeter, was still painfully fresh.

"Which room is Mark's?" I asked Mike, who shrugged in response. I turned to Henry. "Henry, have you seen Mark?"

"I think he went in there," he answered, gesturing to the door closest to me, and I lightly pushed it open to see steps leading up to the attic, which I quickly ascended.

Mark's room wasn't as nice as mine, but it was much cozier. Beans was in his tank, and Mark's backpack and hat lay on the bed, but Mark was no where to be found.

"Mark?" I called, confused by my brother's sudden disappearance.

I shrugged, assuming he had gone downstairs, and left in search of my boyfriend.

I headed outside after coming up empty downstairs and found Kim and Lorraine playing jacks on the pavement beside a row of bushes.

"Hey, guys, have either of you seen Mark?" I asked, and they both looked up, but before either of them could reply, a rustle sounded from behind me, and Mark came out of no where, rolling to stop beside me, and using the momentum to push himself onto his feet and coming to a stop right next to me.

I yelped and stumbled away in surprise. "Where did you come from?" I demanded, pointing between the bushes and Mark in bewilderment.

Mark paused. "I jumped out of the downstairs window," he answered.

"Why?" Lorraine asked.

"Dad and our neighbor's son were swinging from the chandelier. It was about to break, and I did not want to risk walking past them to the front door," Mark responded.

Lorraine and Kim nodded, not even questioning why Dad and our neighbor's son were swinging from the chandelier (it was not the weirdest thing that had happened in the Baker household. Weirder stuff had happened within the past two weeks).

I frowned. I knew Mark was hiding something from me (I could always tell when Mark was lying), but I didn't push it. After all, why would Mark lie to me? It's not like I would judge him.

I didn't have any reason to be suspicious. Yet.

"You liking the new house so far?" I asked.

Mark took my hand and smiled. "I'm with you. How can I not like it here?" he stated, pressing a kiss to my lips.

"That was so cheesy," Lorraine commented, but we were too engaged in our make out session to hear her.

Mark and I pulled apart, and I noticed a woman, a man, and a young boy walking out of our house, presumably our neighbors, and the man and boy noticed us but looked away when they saw us kissing (more out of politeness than disgust since Mark and I were obviously siblings. Some people thought Mark was my identical twin, we looked so much alike). The woman, on the other hand, sneered in disgust before ushering her son and husband away. As long as she didn't gossip about it, I could handle prejudice from her. If she told anyone and it happened to reach the school, though… Mark and I might be in trouble. The danger kind of trouble, not the breaking-the-rules kind of trouble.

But even if any gossip or rumors did reach the school, Mark and I would get through it together. Just like we always have.

* * *

 _Mark lying to Jessica will be explained throughout the story. I can't give too much away, but I can say that while moving has solved the dangers of the bullying that happened in Midland, it will cause other problems to arise._


	3. When The World Is Against Us

_Has not been edited yet._

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

* * *

Later that night, Mark crouched in the vents, scrubbing tears from his eyes.

He knew it was wrong to lie to Jessica about where he'd come from earlier that day, but this- the vents- was his place. His place to be alone, to cry, to feel everything and nothing at once without Jessica trying to fix it. Mark wasn't sure if Jessica could fix it, and he didn't want her to have to feel powerless.

Mark had never told anyone the full extent of the bullying at his school. Not even Jessica. He didn't tell anyone about the rocks hurled at him at recess or the death threats in his locker. He didn't tell anyone about the cyber bullying and the rumors.

Mark felt like he was cracking under the strain of everything the world was putting on him. He didn't fit in with his family. He'd been kicked when he was down, called every name in the book, relieved death threats, and was constantly looking over his shoulder, waiting for someone to leap out of the shadows and attack him. Jessica had received notes telling her to die but had never received actual threats like Mark had. She'd never received a chemical burn from a kid purposely spilling chemicals on him in science class. She'd never been given a broken bones or a concussion. She'd never been chased all the way home. Jessica was only in second grade; kids in that grade usually didn't care about stuff like incest and love lives, although the few that did were downright cruel. Mark, on the other hand, was at the end of third grade when someone discovered their relationship, and that was when kids started to form opinions. Right before they turn ten, and while their opinions will change as they age, at only nine years old, kids don't even try to understand. They judge too quickly and never think before acting. At least in high school most kids understand something before judging in. Third graders didn't understand love, much less incest, and yet they still judged him. Mark dreaded the day people found out, not for himself, but Jessica would be entering third grade and bullying would become downright harassment.

Mark was sad and terrified and anxious and hurt, and he didn't know what to do anymore.

Jessica was always there for him, but even her love couldn't make all the hurt he'd experienced in his nine years of life disappear.

He was scared. He didn't know what to do, how to escape the pain. Jessica helped, but she would never truly understand.

Mark just wanted this deeply rooted pain that was growing and festering and consuming him… to go away.

But it never did. And Mark was beginning to fear that it never would.

"Hank is babysitting?" Sarah demanded.

A few days had passed since the move here, and as if the move hadn't been hard enough, now Hank was coming to visit.

Hank was Nora's boyfriend and a self centered jerk. He hated Mark and Jessica and pushed them around, particularly Mark because he knew Mark wouldn't dare tell a soul, not even his girlfriend. Mark was far too shy and selfless to risk ruining Nora's relationship; Jessica, on the other hand, would wreck Nora's relationship in a heartbeat if she saw Hank's true colors (more than she already had). It wasn't because Jessica wanted to cause Nora and Hank's break up, but if she knew who Hank really was, she would see what Mark couldn't. That Hank wasn't right for Nora and that he was lying to her, deceiving her into believing he was a saint. Mark couldn't see past his own insecurity to notice that, but Jessica would, and that's why Hank treated Jessica horribly but no where near as bad as he treated Mark.

Jessica didn't notice Mark flinch at the mention of Hank's name or the way he rubbed his arm like a painful memory was beginning to grip him.

"Yes, and don't set his pants on fire again," Tom ordered.

"I'm starting to think Midland might have actually been better," Jessica confessed. "And considering I still have nightmares about that dead rat, that's saying something."

"First, we have to move," Mike began.

"Then Mom decides to become a career person and travel the globe," Jake continued.

"Now we have to take orders from Hank, the model/actor," Kim said.

"And he hates kids," Mark added.

"And he hates Mark and Jessica," Henry stated.

"Especially Mark," Kyle chirped, oblivious as most four year old's are.

"Kyle!" Mark hissed.

"What makes you think Hank hates Mark even more than Jessica?" Henry questioned.

"Hank hates Jessica, hates me, hates us all the same. We have twenty four hours. Let's start planning," Mark blurted, and they all knew he was hiding something, but they didn't push it as they gathered around the coffee table and began brain storming.

"Nora's here!" Sarah cheered as the kids sprinted towards The scarlet car that had pulled into their driveway.

"Woah!" Hank called as he got out of the car. "Stop! Halt! Don't move!"

The kids stuttered to a halt beside the car, confused too much to even think about disobeying the order simply to annoy Hank.

"I just got the car detailed, so keep your paws off of it… please," he added as an afterthought. "So… respect the perimeter!"

The kids backed up while Sarah made a mental note of Hank's love for his car to possibly add to future plans.

Tom headed for the house, and the kids returned to the backyard, but Hank grabbed Mark by the arm before he could join them.

"Look, kid," Hank hissed, gripping Mark's arm hard enough to bruise. "If anything bad or embarrassing happens to me while I'm here, you'll be the one I get to punish because I know that you won't say a word. This is your last chance to tell me anything that Sarah or your girlfriend-" Hank spat the word like it was poison on his tongue. "-or any of your other siblings have planned."

Other than bruising his arms in his strong grip, Hank had never physically harmed Mark, but he had insulted Mark and bullied him and pushed him around. He'd put Mark through hours of grueling chores, like washing his car or even cleaning the house from top to bottom, not because he cared about the state of their house but simply to torture Mark. He'd make Mark take photographs of him for his modeling/acting career. Basically, he treated Mark like a slave, putting him through endless chores and odd jobs, and treating him like dirt on the bottom of his shoe. It could've been worse; Hank ordering him around was nothing compared to the bullying he had endured in Midland, but it still hurt every time Hank made him clean the hard wood floors by hand, like Cinderella. It hurt every time Hank called him a freak or an abomination or disgusting or any of the other insults Hank had invented. It hurt every time Hank treated like he was something less than human.

And the emotional pain Mark was nearly collapsing under expanded, beginning to poison him from the inside out.

Mark didn't want to be put through hours of work or to be insulted and have to play Dodge (it was a game Hank had created where he threw stuff, like books and sports balls, at Mark to try and hit him, and Mark had to dodge the objects, but he didn't always succeed. That was the only time Hank ever physically hurt him, and technically, Hank didn't lay a hand on him), but he wasn't about to rat out his siblings.

Mark shook his head. "They haven't planned anything. They know that Nora won't babysit if we try anything."

Mark wasn't sure if Hank believed him, but he looked like he did as he released Mark and walked into the backyard.

Mark rubbed his arm and watched the whole thing play out according to play. Sarah threw an apple to Hank, which he caught instinctively, and stumbled back to avoid Jake as he rode past Hank on his skateboard, almost squishing his toes beneath the turning wheels. The younger set of twins yanked on the hose, tripping Hank and watching as he fell back into the muddy water in the kiddy pool.

Mark dragged his feet inside as a soaking wet Hank stormed into the house. He was in for it now…

Mark scrubbed Hank's shoes while the man flipped through the channels on the television, hurling insults at Mark over his shoulder. They were alone in the living room.

"You know, I'm actually helping you," Hank said. "A brother dating his sister… what college, much less a job, would want someone dating his own sister? You'll probably end up selling apples by the highway or polishing shoes. You're an abomination, a sin all in itself. Who would want you?"

Mark got that a lot, that being incest-is-a-sin-so-you're-going-to-hell, but he always wondered what the world would be like if everyone considered… what would Jesus do? Jesus was good, the very definition of good, and Mark was sure that Jesus wouldn't call him a freak or worthless or useless or any insult, nor would Jesus hit him or force him to do meaningless chores, as though it would 'make up' for his sin. Jesus loves everyone. Jesus doesn't love sin, but he loves sinners because we are God's children. If God can forgive murder and lying and even doubting the existence of God and Jesus, provided your disbelief eventually be comings belief, why can't he forgive incest? If God loves everyone, no matter what sin they've committed or how much they sin, why can't he love Jessica and Mark?

Mark believed in God and Jesus, but he certainly didn't believe that God would hate him for being in love with his sister, nor does he believe that God hasn't forgiven them for their sin. Incest is a sin, and Mark will not deny that, but he also believes that God has forgiven him and his sister and that He loves them, even if they fell in love with each other.

Mark winced as a book smacked him in the head, having been thrown at him by Hank from his seat on the couch.

"Get your head out of the clouds," Hank commented. "Disgusting, four-eyed piece of trash. You're worthless. Useless. Waste of space. News flash, kiddo: It's only a matter of time before you family and even your little girlfriend realize you're a waste of their time and energy. They don't want you."

Mark didn't want to believe Hank, but it was hard not to. If you hear something often enough, you might start to believe it.

Neither of them saw a horrified face appear in the doorway before that person darted away before either boy could see her. She sprinted down the steps into the basement, where she found her siblings staring at her in confusion.

"We need a new plan. Hank might be more of a monster than we originally thought," Kim Baker stated.

Henry, Sarah, and Jake seated themselves at the table as Hank begin squirming in his chair while Gunner dug his nose and teeth into Hank's crotch, which smelled like raw hamburger due to Kim's brilliant plan (yes. Kim's plan. Besides Jessica, Kim was the most protective of Mark, and with some help from Sarah, she put together the ingenious plan to soak Hank's underwear in raw hamburger and allow Gunner to attack him).

The kids snickered while Nora tried to hold Gunner, Tom joining her, and Nora, hearing their sniggers glanced up and glared at her siblings, who were abruptly silenced.

Hank kicked the dog away and sprinted out the door while Nora stormed out after him.

"Nora, we didn't want you to go!" Kim shouted as they ran out after her.

"Look," Nora said, flatly, turning around to face them. "You guys might live near me, but I have my own life. My loyalty is to Hank now,"

"But Hank insulted Mark!" Kim tried while Jessica frowned, having not been told about the real reason behind the plot against Hank, while Mark's eyes widened, having not been aware that Kim or anyone else had overheard the conversation between him and Hank.

Nora sneered. "I don't believe you. I know you don't like Hank, but to try and make him out to be some bully? That's low."

Nora stomped towards the car, which was being bombarded with the neighborhood dogs, all catching a whiff of Hank's hamburger soaked underwear.

"Nora, she's telling the truth!" Charlie called after her, but Nora had already gotten into the car, and Hank pulled out of the driveway.

"In the house. Now," Tom ordered through gritted teeth.

The kids followed the command and stood in a line, from right to left- Kyle, Nigel, Mike, Jessica, Sarah, Jake, Kim, Mark, Lorraine, Henry, Charlie (this is not exactly like the movie, but it's close enough).

"You soaked his underwear in hamburger," Tom said, pacing up and down the line. "That is so wrong. Funny. But wrong. Now who was the mastermind behind all of this?"

The youngest set of twins stepped up, as was part of the plan. Tom and Kate would go easy on the youngest two kids, they knew.

They should've known their parents wouldn't fall for it.

"You were the masterminds?" Tom stated in disbelief. "Step back."

The twins returned to the line, and Tom hovered his hand above their heads, slowly moving over the heads of his children.

"Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, beep-beep-beep-beep," he said, speeding up as his hand hovered over Sarah's head. "Beep, beep, beep," he said in a monotone as he moved back over Jessica's head before moving back over Sarah's. "Beep-beep-beep-beep. Sarah, do you have anything you want to tell me?"

Sarah opened her mouth to lie and say that she had been the mastermind (siblings covered for each other, after all), but Kim interrupted her.

"It wasn't her," Kim spoke up. "It was me. I was the mastermind."

Kate's eyes widened. "Kim? I know you don't like Hank anymore than the rest of us, but I didn't expect you to prank him. I expected this thing from Sarah, But you? Why on earth would you prank Hank?"

Kim swallowed. "He called Mark a waste of space."

"He did what?" Kate and Tom spoke in unison, dangerously quiet with anger and confusion.

Jessica was much more expressive. "He did what!?" she shouted so loudly, some pigeons squawked outside and flew away from the house, startled by the loud noise.

"Mark, is this true?" Tom asked.

Mark shrugged. "Yes, okay? But it isn't anything I haven't heard before. I didn't think it was a big deal."

"He tried to convince you that your own family didn't want you!" Kim exclaimed. "That is a big deal."

"Mark, why didn't you tell me?" Jessica asked.

Mark shrugged, which was the only motion he felt capable of doing as he rubbed the back of his neck with anxiety painted across his face.

"It's Hank. He's a jerk that hates kids and incest. What he says doesn't affect me anymore, so-"

"Anymore?" Kate repeated. "This has happened before?"

Mark swallowed. "Well, yeah, but-"

"That's it. I'm calling Nora," Tom muttered, snatching up the phone and beginning to dial his daughter's number.

"Wait," Mark said, grabbing the phone, "There's no point. Of you can't give her some proof, she won't believe you."

"After all, her loyalty is to Hank now," Henry grumbled, repeating Nora's words from earlier.

Tom sighed. "Look… we'll give her some time to cool down and then we'll invite her over- just her- and we'll talk. Does that sound like a fair compromise?"

None of the kids looked happy about it, but they all nodded. It was better than nothing, after all.


End file.
